Witty Facebook Status

With the ever-increasing growth in the number of users day by day, the amount of time that we spend on this super social network has reached an all time high. All your needs of sharing your feelings with friends, acquaintances or strangers too, is taken care of by your status. Most of us prefer witty status.

It gets you noticed and appreciated, gives your friends a nice laugh and leaves you feeling so full of yourself.

But coming up with a unique and witty facebook status quotes each day requires a lot of racking of brains. Instead, you can use some ready-made funny Facebook status quotes but just make sure you get your hands on them before yours friends do, for a stale status is of hardly any use.

Your funny Facebook status updates may be funny, smart, tricky or downright silly. As long as that humorous Facebook status makes your friends smile, or think, or pull their hair out in frustration or even gets them rolling on the floor laughing, it's all worth the try. There are many funny status updates that one can find in the paragraphs below.

So here's a list of some funny Facebook status ideas. These clever Facebook status ideas should be useful.

• Shashank doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.
• Shashank never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort.
• To steal ideas from one person, would be plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called research.

• Shashank feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
• Cinderella, Snow white and Sleeping Beauty are gonna be really pissed when they find out they all married Prince Charming...

• A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle; unless you drop it while you're doing it, and burn yourself and your whole house down. It is one of the best Facebook status quotes and also my favorite.
• Shashank used to play sports. Then he realized you can buy trophies. Now he's good at everything.

• Shashank is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... This could take a while...
• Shashank wonders if illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup.
• Shashank never judges a book by its cover. He uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.

Some more witty Facebook status messages:

• Shashank wonders why the Frisbee is getting bigger- and then it hits me. There are many such good Facebook statuses enlisted below.
• Shashank says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

• If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
• Shashank is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds nowhere near the 22-37 pounds it promises.
• I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.

• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career; unless you're a priest.
• Shashank is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.

• Shashank hated it when old aunts used to come up to him at weddings, poke him in the ribs and cackle, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
• Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles!

A few more witty Facebook status updates:

• Shashank is sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.
• Shashank got his test results back this morning and is shocked to find that he's been diagnosed with OCD. He's rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correct.
• Oh no, not another learning experience!

• Shashank believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
• Build a man a fire he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm the rest of his life.
• Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.

• Don't sweat petty things - or pet sweaty things.
• I've always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
• Physics would have been much easier if Newton were sitting under the Jack-fruit tree instead of the Apple tree.

• Shashank thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single".

The Facebook statuses reflect our current state of mind. Choosing a suitable status from the above list should help in getting interesting reactions from friends.