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Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Batul Nafisa Baxamusa
Here are some ideas for your status updates that will surely add a bit of humor to your profile page.
There are times in life when you reach a creative block, and cannot think of any words to express yourself. Sometimes we find ourselves staring at a creative roadblock and cannot think of anything witty or funny to say. With Facebook becoming a part of our lives and for some of us as important as breathing, updating our status messages becomes compulsory.
Cool status ideas helps keep one in the groove with other users and see the various comments posted by friends. If you have suddenly found the comments on your updates dwindling, then you need to start using some funny ideas. And you suddenly find yourself, as a colleague of mine usually says, 'verbally constipated', then you can use the following ideas.
You see most of the funny status ideas are picked up as an inspiration from various sources. If you have loved some quotes, sayings or dialogs from movies and TV shows, you can use them as updates.
There are many who say using quotes or song lyrics, etc. is not a good idea and shows desperation. But, not all are good writers and come up with a unique and funny status. Thus, one can use some inspiration from sources that motivate and express your feelings.
You can even state some real life incidences. These updates should be to the point, and able to tickle the funny bone of the reader. Do not make your joke too long or otherwise you will find people 'booing' instead of commenting.

Funny Status Ideas

  • Some days... You just don't have enough middle fingers... ya know?
  • ..... has a theory that the world would be a safer place if everyone were forced to take IQ tests and had to display their results as warnings to the population.
  • Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
  • People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you upside the head, remember I had a reason.
  • ....feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
  • ....used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
  • ...Has advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
  • I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
  • ..is color blind and trying to solve a Rubik's cube... This could take a while...
  • ... ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
  • Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try to scare it with the cursor?
  • Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
  • I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
  • I've always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
  • Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
  • ....is a disaster waiting to happen

Funny Updates

  • Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette might be their last.
  • God created the earth, God created the woods
    God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
  • Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is....
  • Only once in a lifetime will you get someone with whom you will like to spend your time, love to share your smiles & talk. Until then, manage with your spouse.
  • There should be a limit on the number of frogs you have to kiss before you find your prince. Too many frogs are having fun!
  • Corporates are really funny... they keep talking about team work and then seek individual credit in a team.
  • ..... is trying to decide if she has an attitude problem today, or not.
  • ..... is thinking it's funny how, when people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia !!!
  • ...... you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville.
  • Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
  • ...... if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving probably isn't for you.
  • I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.
  • I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
  • If someone throws a stone at you, throw back a flower, but make sure that the flower is still in the pot. :P
  • used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
  • One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
  • ...... says in about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend
  • Dismayed! I don't even know how to spell anymore. I type the 1st half of the word and wait for auto correct to do the rest.
  • Some people get so upset when you delete them from your fb friends list. What is the big deal it's not like we're real friends and hang out everyday.
These were some of the funny status ideas that will definitely get your Facebook update catch a few 'Likes' and comments. There are plenty of such ideas on the Internet. You can either use them or for a change, try to create some of your own unique updates. Hope you enjoyed reading these funny updates.