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Funny Facebook Posts

The Facebook posts given here will make you roll off in laughter. If you are looking to update your status on Facebook with something humorous, then give these a try.
Batul Nafisa Baxamusa
There are times when we come across some of the most lame Facebook status messages popping up on our home page. Yet, there are times when one does read some really funny Facebook posts that makes us laugh. It is not always possible to come up with funny status updates, so in order to make your hunt easier, here are some really funny lines you can use.
You can rely on me. I am married. I'm trained to follow orders...

Doctor: "We can't find anything wrong with you so we're going to treat you for Symptom Deficit Disorder."

The dog doesn't know the difference between Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I have to walk the dog early those days too!
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
3 monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught playing basketball, one was caught at a pool hall, the third one was caught reading this text.

You burned about 1 calorie reading this text, now if I send you a 1,000 more, you might just make some progress.

You are living proof that God had a great sense of humor.
Says that all of his true friends will like this status. Are you his true friend?

If girls were as nice to each other in real life as they are in Facebook comments, think how different the world would be.

Don't take life seriously... It's not permanent :)
You say obsessive. I say compulsive. You say obsessive. I say compulsive. You say obsessive. I say compulsive:)

Is against any holiday that separates me from my money.

Is updating his status to let you know his status is that he has no status.
Says that just because nobody understands you, it doesn't make you an artist. :)

They say that love is more important than money. Have u ever tried paying your bills with a hug???

Thinking it's funny how when people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia!!!
I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up!

Says people are always asking what's the meaning of life, why don't they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk!
Was almost killed today when he fell off a horse. Thank god the Walmart employee saw me, came over and unplugged the thing!

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!
Is thinking if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day; teach a person to use Facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.

I love the North pole and hate the South pole!, Wait, I love the South pole and hate the North pole!"―A Bipolar Bear
You can use these ideas for your profile. These status updates will surely trigger a lot of comments and 'Likes' on your post.