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50 Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Saptakee Sengupta
This story gives you an elaborate list of 50 humorous Facebook statuses.
Updating status every now and then on Facebook has become a craze among people. With the discovery of social networks, people have established new contacts globally. Facebook is the biggest social network with hundreds of millions of users accessing it everyday.
Today, finding your friends, getting in touch with important persons and creating a whole new identity of yourself has become very easy.
The most exciting part is updating your status on Facebook. We do social networking to convey important messages to our friends and to share our thoughts. People put up funny and catchy headlines, get comments and the conversations goes on. Here goes the list for top 50 funny statuses.
  • ... dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
  • ... doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.
  • .... thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"....
  • ... before you use the bathroom in someone's house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!
  • ... is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... This could take a while...
  • ... is wondering where Noah kept woodpeckers on his ark!
  • ... Good morning...I see the assassins have failed.
  • ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
  • ... is Loading ████████████ 99%
  •  Dear Lord, please give me some patience NOW! NOW! NOW!
  •  Aaah! Finally I got a password for my computer other than just "password".
  •  ... believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
  • Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children
  • Statistically speaking, 8/6 people have trouble computing fractions
  • ..is dead. Yet here you are reading her update. What does that make you?
  • ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
  • If only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
  • How To Be A Hero tip: When destroying the enemy be sure to kill all the criminals in reverse order of importance before confronting the kingpin himself.
  • ".......... understands that hard work pays off in future but Laziness pays off now !"
  • ..is thinking of merging MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it 'My Face You Twit.
  • "Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant."
  • ... intends to go to Heaven for the climate and to Hell for the company.
  • "Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart".
  • "Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife".
  • Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
  • "eat, eat, and eat....but don't eat my brain"
  • ... My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect
  • ... bought some batteries for my children as Christmas gift and it has a note that says 'toys not included"
  • ... is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd...
  • I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' " - Larry Miller.
  • My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there." - Ron Richards
  • "I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget." - Michael McShane
  • I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money." - Kevin Meaney
  • ... is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds nowhere near the 22-37 pounds it promises
  • ... Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper...
  • Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?" - Lily Tomlin
  • Katie is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years
  • ... is the only male/female left on earth. What would you do?
  • ... is A) Crazy, B) Drunk, C) Delirious, or D) All above
  • ...changed his/her status update just to see your reaction
  • ... went to the bookstore earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played
  • ... feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes
  • ... Is swearing to drunk that he is not God
  • "I said 'no' to drugs, but they simply would not listen"
  • ... warns you to be careful with your head, cause once even he had an open mind until all his brains fell off
  • "I do give the waiters a good tip, but they never seem to take or appreciate my advice"
  • Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
  • When I say 'I MISS SCHOOL' it means my 'FRIENDS AND THE FUN' not the 'SCHOOL'
  • ..isfaci ngamaj orprob lemwi hisspa cebarple asehelp
  • Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives
The list in the aforementioned content are the top status ideas from a pool of over thousands. Make your own sentences and update cool statuses everyday on your Facebook profile.